Writing your own love letter

It's extremely ironic how all the things you are advised on growing up, are of the greatest relevance the older you get.
(Don't convince yourself you're a big somebody, cos life can really give you a bewildering slap in the face lol).


''Take care of your health, eat well.''
''Go to the doctor's if something doesn't feel right.''
''Do not settle or lower your standards for anyone (guys/girls particularly).''
''Choose your circle wisely.''
''Focus on what you decide to pursue (education).''
''Silence them with kindness.''
''Don't hold onto things that don't add to you, or are of value.''

There are so many more aspects of life I could touch on, and so many I ignored trying to rely on my own knowledge which has not been sufficient. Little did I know this is how my love letter started, so hopefully I can now help you write yours...



What your love letter should not include.

Negativity
Anger
Comparison
Self-hate
Poisonous thoughts
Laziness- (towards health, relationships & work ethic)



What does a love letter look like?

Positivity- A love letter looks at herself in the mirror and draws out light.
I use to wake up and welcome in negativity, it was such a disgusting way to start and finish the day. Like waking up wasn't enough, knowing my loved ones were breathing wasn't enough and having an income, an education, living in a place with a roof over my head wasn't enough. Yes, you are a moaner!

It's so easy to let the negative cloud the clear skies, and it's extremely easy to let little problems grow in your mind. It is funny I look back and think of how insignificant people and things are now. Let me not even get into that lol. Waking up saying thank you & being grateful despite of the fight that went on yesterday, or losing your job, or heartbreak is one step further away from negativity. Even if it doesn't instantly make you feel lighter, you just watch and see how habit can become your mindset.

Kindness- People will piss you off, disrespect and be untrustworthy, and it can make you have a messy mind. I use to be so kind, because I saw how my mum lived her life and she was never unkind despite circumstance. And at her funeral I saw what a kind life looked like. In forgiving, loving and being kind to other people you unknowingly love yourself, you take care of your sanity. If you don't like certain people or have been treated badly, leave it to God, and if you don't believe in a 'God' karma usually catches them out haha.


Focus on inner man- This is an important one. It becomes easy to focus on the outer and not the inner. It is what we see more of in this day and age, for example, instagram girls, cars, celebrities, clothing, basically everything money can buy.
I have always always always had people say to me, 'well actually money can practically buy you happiness'.
Okay, and no. Money may allow you to be temporarily happy, but it will never breed joy, and can never fix a broken inside, that stuff is embedded deep, and even the richest are unhappy in one form or shape.

Selfless & Selfish- So this obvi is contradictory but let me put it into perspective...
Being selfless is related to kindness in a way, it focuses on giving yourself whole to people, whether it be your mind or your time, from the little thoughts to the big gestures. When you are selfless you are helping other people in a humble manor, you feed two souls, yours and theirs. My university experience exposed me to a lot of ungrateful people, and I grew a bit bitter so I'd notice that whatever nice thing I'd do, I would make it known, but this is not a quality of selflessness. So humbly leave it behind you.

Now onto being selfish. This doesn't mean to genuinely be selfish and not share yourself. It means to take care of your damn self first, yes to prioritise you, you and you. My life always consisted of leaving myself short because that's the way my heart is set up, for example, helping out someone financially but I couldn't really afford that. Now, I know that by putting myself first doesn't mean I am selfish, it is simply using your common sense, in doing so it means you can be selfless even better, and definitely bigger. I have a lot of friends who are just like me and feel guilty, but since when did taking care of yourself mean that you were ever selfish?

These are my first steps to becoming whole again,  writing my love letter, hoping that you can take something from this and start writing your own. xo